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I went to church again.  Christmas Eve of course.  I’ve cried a bit the past two times I’ve gone, but this last time no tears were shed.  I was even able to sing without getting chocked up.  It was nice to not be so sensitive. Not that anything is wrong with tears in church, but I feel like I’m more comfortable there.  I even made a few new ‘friends’ and people I previously met remembered my name! That sure does wonders for a new attendee.

Christmas was a very low key pleasant day.  Now that Christmas is over I feel like I’m finally getting in the spirit of it and it’s over. Oh, well 2009 will be here soon and another opportunity to be less a Scrudge.  I was happy to have a Holiday that wasn’t overly filled with too much.

Today I went to the movies with a fairly new friend.  The movie was o.k. It was just nice to hang out.

Not sure what I’ll be doing the rest of the day.  I’ll probably be spending lots of time in the “quite room” aka the guest room. It’s nice to have one clutter free room at home where my OCD can stay at bay and I can read without worrying about tidying up everything.  I really need to learn the art of relaxation in the real sense.

Here is a poem I wrote awhile back on the whole subject of being OCD or at least acting like it:


OCD Whirl        8/17/2008

It’s quite a demon to be plagued by this.
Clutter haunting your mind, trying to get in.
Being able to move about without double checking everything.
Random thoughts invading your mind.
Trying to be peaceful when your mind is going so fast your head is spinning.

It’s a personal demon I try to ignore.
I try to push it back to where it was before.
Out of site and out of mind.
Trying to be good and not be left behind.

I thought meds would fix it, yet the affects were hell and not worth it.
Now I’m back to my old self and the demon is back.
I’d rather tame this demon then be trumped up on meds.

I may go to church tonight since I like the smallness of the Saturday night service vs the more crowded one of Sunday morning.  I just love how calm the pastor’s voice is.  Very sort of slow, methodical and soothing. Not hyped up or dramatic, but simple.  Sometimes I can just feel myself going, “AHHH” when I walk in the door.

Last night I bought my ticket to go to TX for my best friend’s baptism.  I can’t wait.  Almost only one more month away and then I’ll get to see her.  I’m so very excited about this. I feel like I just want to pop I’m so excited.  I’ve been waiting for this day for FOREVER and now that it’s here it almost feels surreal.

I posted a new page of the books I have read this year so far.  My count is not as thrilling as I’d hope it would be, but I still have a few more reading days left of 2008 to crank out a few more titles.  I think the goal of 120 was overly ambitious.

Off to go take a nap….or at least read. I’m zonked.  Hopefully my throat congestion will go away.  I hate feeling like this…..the cold air actually felt good this morning.


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